1. How Do I Accept My Girlfriend’s Cheating Past?

    hazlittmag:

    image

    Got a problem that’s got you feeling fucked if you do, fucked if you don’t? Send us your concerns and questions and Unfuck Yourself.

    ****

    I recently started dating this girl, and it’s going pretty great, except for one thing. She recently told me that the…

    I WROTE THIS WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ IT PLEASE

    Reblogged from: hazlittmag
  2. "Don’t you think it’s weird that I’m a cat and not an actual person?"

    "Don’t you think it’s weird that I’m a cat and not an actual person?"

  3. "You know, this goes both ways. I’d sell you in a heartbeat if some idiot came looking for a brown lady with beefy arms and sinus infection."

    "You know, this goes both ways. I’d sell you in a heartbeat if some idiot came looking for a brown lady with beefy arms and sinus infection."

  4. hazlittmag:

    If I’m sleeping with my door closed, she sticks her little black and white paws underneath, scratching at the carpet, making little yelps until I let her in. If I leave the door open, she races back and forth between my bedroom and the hallway until I either spray her with a water bottle or cradle her like a colicky baby. But, I chose her, and I bought her, and I would not trade her for a better, less vindictive cat.

    Unless someone offered me literal thousands of dollars to do so.

    Continue

    Reblogged from: hazlittmag
  5. #ootd

    #ootd

  6. Reblogged from: ameliepoutine
  7. Thankful for nothing; I believe in nothing.

    Thankful for nothing; I believe in nothing.

  8. Minding the Gap

    hazlittmag:

    image

    When I’m 30, he’ll be 44. That’s not so bad. But when I’m 40, he’ll be 54. That feels funny. And when I’m 50, he’ll be 64. And then when I’m 70, he will be dead. I continually have to reconcile that we are not the same age, and therefore have different expiry dates. This…

    Hey I wrote this

    Reblogged from: hazlittmag
  9. Hi girls.

    Hi girls.

  10. IF UNFUCK YOURSELF IS PUBLISHED ON A THURSDAY, DOES IT MAKE A SOUND?
Yes. These are the sounds:
1. Help! I’m pregnant and my husband is a dope about his career! 2. Help! I have herpes and I’m sad! 3. Help! I quit smoking but my still-smoking boss is being a real butt (HA HA GET IT) about it! 4. BONUS: I make fun of Doug Ford a little.

Read it, feel empty, then send me more questions so that I can do this until one of us dies: http://hazli.tt/oe

    IF UNFUCK YOURSELF IS PUBLISHED ON A THURSDAY, DOES IT MAKE A SOUND?

    Yes. These are the sounds:

    1. Help! I’m pregnant and my husband is a dope about his career!
    2. Help! I have herpes and I’m sad!
    3. Help! I quit smoking but my still-smoking boss is being a real butt (HA HA GET IT) about it!
    4. BONUS: I make fun of Doug Ford a little.

    Read it, feel empty, then send me more questions so that I can do this until one of us dies: http://hazli.tt/oe

  11. hazlittmag:

Swing by @scaachi’s desk for a little positivity.

GO AWAY

    hazlittmag:

    Swing by @scaachi’s desk for a little positivity.

    GO AWAY

    Reblogged from: hazlittmag
  12. hazlittmag:

    "We have no idea who actually goes on dates."

    Hazlitt contributor Matthew Braga speaks with OKCupid president and cofounder Christian Rudder about his new book, Dataclysm (Who We Are When We Think No One’s Looking).

    You can subscribe to the podcast on iTunesStitcherSoundcloud, and via RSS.

    CAN U LISTEN TO DIS PLZ

    Reblogged from: hazlittmag
  13. When we started dating, our age gap was a curiosity: “Did you have Internet in your room when you were younger?” I’d ask, and he’d just laugh. He explained beepers, smoking sections in restaurants, how he felt when Kurt Cobain died. (Pretty bad, apparently.) But this was back when I figured our age would eventually become a wedge rather than a bridge and we’d split up and he’d marry someone his own age and I’d go back to rooting in the sewers for rat-men to take me on rat-dates.I wrote about how my boyfriend is old and how I am afraid of what will happen when he dies for hazlittmag: http://hazli.tt/o6

    When we started dating, our age gap was a curiosity: “Did you have Internet in your room when you were younger?” I’d ask, and he’d just laugh. He explained beepers, smoking sections in restaurants, how he felt when Kurt Cobain died. (Pretty bad, apparently.) But this was back when I figured our age would eventually become a wedge rather than a bridge and we’d split up and he’d marry someone his own age and I’d go back to rooting in the sewers for rat-men to take me on rat-dates.

    I wrote about how my boyfriend is old and how I am afraid of what will happen when he dies for hazlittmag: http://hazli.tt/o6

  14. I HAVE A MATTE BROWN LIPSTICK. IT IS FALL. #limecrime

    I HAVE A MATTE BROWN LIPSTICK. IT IS FALL. #limecrime

  15. omg shut up seriously

    omg shut up seriously

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