1. 💅 🔪

    💅 🔪

  2. Settle down, I’m the funny one here.

    Settle down, I’m the funny one here.

  3. iOS 8 sucks, it can’t even guess that I’m talking about a bulky umpire.

    iOS 8 sucks, it can’t even guess that I’m talking about a bulky umpire.

  4. Raisin-Face is actually going as a ninja for Halloween but I guess my mom just isn’t goddamn having it with this shit.

    Raisin-Face is actually going as a ninja for Halloween but I guess my mom just isn’t goddamn having it with this shit.

  5. Halloween 2014: Raisin-Face is Bojack.

    Halloween 2014: Raisin-Face is Bojack.

  6. hazlittmag:

Assistant editor @scaachi says good morning.

Leave me alone.

    hazlittmag:

    Assistant editor @scaachi says good morning.

    Leave me alone.

    Reblogged from: hazlittmag
  7. TigTigTig

    TigTigTig

  8. "We didn’t do it."

    "We didn’t do it."

  9. I hope they signed a prenup.

    I hope they signed a prenup.

  10. I think Siri knows when you’re drunk.

    I think Siri knows when you’re drunk.

  11. Is this love

    Is this love

  12. .@scottdeveau hates it when I repost these things because it takes away his power but who cares. (PS this photo was taken in 2002.)

    .@scottdeveau hates it when I repost these things because it takes away his power but who cares. (PS this photo was taken in 2002.)

  13. Please follow @hazlittmag on Instagram because I am running it and making it verrrrry stupid.

    Please follow @hazlittmag on Instagram because I am running it and making it verrrrry stupid.

  14. The most important part of this week’s column over at hazlittmag is that I spend a few hundred words talking about HOW MUCH I HATE MR. DARCY and also write the words, “Mr. Darcy is the Robin Thicke of the 1800s, and Benedict Cumberbatch looks like the vacuum from The Brave Little Toaster.”I’ll show myself out. PLEASE READ THIS DUMB THING: http://penguinrandomhouse.ca/hazlitt/blog/why-doesnt-my-partner-want-work-me

    The most important part of this week’s column over at hazlittmag is that I spend a few hundred words talking about HOW MUCH I HATE MR. DARCY and also write the words, “Mr. Darcy is the Robin Thicke of the 1800s, and Benedict Cumberbatch looks like the vacuum from The Brave Little Toaster.”

    I’ll show myself out.

    PLEASE READ THIS DUMB THING: http://penguinrandomhouse.ca/hazlitt/blog/why-doesnt-my-partner-want-work-me

  15. Horrible trash-person @haleycullingham put my words and my mug in Maisonneuve this month. Buy it so that you can draw things on my face.

    Horrible trash-person @haleycullingham put my words and my mug in Maisonneuve this month. Buy it so that you can draw things on my face.

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