That’s not how it works, dummy.

Scandaaaaaaaallllllll

"Brush your teeth in the kitchen."

"You and I both know you’re not going to the gym."

"Oh, did…did you need a pillow, or…?"

"Hey dummy, I think your mousepad is broken."

"I could tell you that I’m sorry for drinking out of the toilet BUT I’M NOT."

Precious.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING

My brother is fine, er whatever, but he made half of this, which is great.

Don’t look at my left breast.

Today in the @hazlittmag studio: Sean Michaels and his theremin.

"Terrible third draft."

"This is not comfortable."

Gowda has house, Gowda has cable, Gowda owns $90 garbage can, Gowda getting married, Gowda grown.