Settle down, I’m the funny one here.
iOS 8 sucks, it can’t even guess that I’m talking about a bulky umpire.
Raisin-Face is actually going as a ninja for Halloween but I guess my mom just isn’t goddamn having it with this shit.
Halloween 2014: Raisin-Face is Bojack.
I hope they signed a prenup.
I think Siri knows when you’re drunk.
.@scottdeveau hates it when I repost these things because it takes away his power but who cares. (PS this photo was taken in 2002.)
Please follow @hazlittmag on Instagram because I am running it and making it verrrrry stupid.
Horrible trash-person @haleycullingham put my words and my mug in Maisonneuve this month. Buy it so that you can draw things on my face.